


Night Vale: The Musical: Act II

by ErinPtah



Series: Night Vale: The Musical [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: F/M, M/M, Musical References, Not Canon Compliant, Notfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5100149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinPtah/pseuds/ErinPtah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the curtain last fell on our heroes, they had just finished an ensemble song about how they weren't going to pay Strexcorp's rent...and Strex came down hard, fast, and armed with internationally-banned chemicals. Now the rebellion has to regroup, injuries have to be treated, distant armies have to be gathered, and, amidst all this, our flagship couple has to try openly communicating with each other.</p><p>It's the second half of the musical AU. Well, sort of. Hopefully it's enough of a close to give readers closure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, all cards on the table:
> 
> I don't have the heart to finish this series properly. Too many canon instances of our heroes being strikingly unhelpful, callous, even cruel, towards people they're supposed to care about. My emotional connection to the show is broken, and telling myself "this is an AU, the characters are different here" isn't enough to resurrect it.
> 
> So instead of abandoning the story entirely, I'm posting the not!fic version of Act II. Lots of plot summary, a handful of scenes, lots of could-have-been song parodies (including hat tips to the readers who suggested them, when applicable), including a few that got half-written but didn't come together in time. Mysteries will be revealed, plot threads resolved, climaxes reached.
> 
> (If anyone wants to take the half-finished songs and write the rest of the lyrics, with credit where credit is due, feel free! And obviously, if I mention a song but never wrote any parody lyrics at all, it's fair game.)

WHEN WE LAST SAW OUR HEROES:

Hundreds of people from across Night Vale gathered to rebel against new Strexcorp rent hikes. TAMIKA FLYNN spoke out in protest; CARLOS and the SCIENTISTS were among the crowd; CECIL PALMER was not on the scene, but his reporting was decidedly sympathetic; LUCY AND HANNAH GUTIERREZ died in resistance, taking out a bunch of Strexcorp employees as they went.

Then the Strex-owned SHERIFF'S SECRET POLICE descended with tear gas and handcuffs, and everything devolved into chaos as the curtain fell....

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Act II opens with a hurt and hungry Carlos being confronted in his prison cell, cuffed, hooded, and dragged away...to be dumped in the back of Cecil's car. Cecil paid his bail.

It's their first time seeing each other after singing [I'll Never Tell](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1650662/chapters/6206270), and they can't go back to panicky avoidance, because Carlos is in bad shape and Cecil can't just abandon him like that.

They sing a version of **Fun Home -[Telephone Wire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_US4P9zPQQ)** during the drive, with each of them taking turns with the chorus ("Say something, talk to him / Say something, anything / Doesn't matter what you say / Just make the fear in his eyes go away"). During the spoken parts, Cecil lets Carlos know that Tamika got away safely, and lots of concerned citizens are working together to make sure everyone who was taken into custody gets bailed out.

The good news is, for these two, the song isn't their last chance to talk. Once they're safely back at Cecil's place, and Carlos has had some food and some non-Strex-brand painkillers, they stumble into a real conversation about the problems they have with each other.

> CARLOS: Of course I respect your intelligence! When have I been condescending?  
> CECIL: Remember that time you told me about the benefits of to-do lists? But you didn't explain fully explain how they worked, so I ended up using them wrong, and then you had to explain why?  
> CARLOS: It was a cultural difference. You didn't get it because you didn't grow up in the same place I did, so we take different things for granted. It's not because you weren't smart enough. I knew that.  
> CECIL [singsongy, talking-to-a-child tone]: "Ceeeeecil, is there a line through that item~? What about a check mark...?"  
> CARLOS: ...I was being fond!  
> CECIL: You may have been _feeling_ fond, but you _sounded_ condescending.  
> CARLOS: ...okay. I didn't mean to, but...I'll try to stop. I can't really hear when I'm doing it, so if I slip into it again, could you just let me know...?

> CECIL: You really think it's embarrassing when I yell at the moon?  
> CARLOS: I really do.  
> CECIL: Even though it has nothing to do with you? And nobody else in town is bothered by it? You and the moon aren't secretly friends, are you?  
> CARLOS: Of course not! It just makes me uncomfortable, okay? Do I have to justify it in terms that you'll accept before I'm allowed to feel it?  
> CECIL: ...No. Your feelings are still valid. Not redeemable for cash, but you _can_ exchange them for credit at the Feelings Delivery Warehouse.  
>  CARLOS: If this yelling means a lot to you, could you at least save it for when I'm not around?  
> CECIL: I'm, um, not actually that attached to it. Probably easiest to just get out of the habit entirely. Which..I can do.

And so on.

They decide to put the "moving in together" plan on hold. Better to make sure they can handle this honesty-and-frank-communication thing, that they won't drive each other crazy with it, _before_ they've combined their DVD collections and harmonized their bloodstone circles.

But they affirm that they don't want to break up, which leads into a duet version of **Zanna, Don't -[I Could Write Books](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcH0apL2Cq4)**. ("I could write books / 'Bout all the things you took from me / And then write twice as much / About how much you give back.") With half of the alternate lyrics focused on the things they do that make each other happy.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

TAMIKA and the BOOK CLUB, energized by the show of support from around town, step up their game.

I really wanted to give these kids a song from the Sailor Moon musicals, because there's no better showcase for teenage girls singing power anthems about how much they're going to crush it in battle. Favorite option was **Sera Myu -[Solar Miracle Make Up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxDN93UC6pQ)! ** (Some [English-translated lyrics:](http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/smoon/smsolar.htm) "Lightning, become a staircase / The sailor soldiers are taking to the sky / We'll make sea of space our stage / In the solar system, together we are invincible!")

...but I never wrote more than the title/refrain. ("Night Vale Middle/High School Book Club!")

You may recall that, at this point, LAUREN MALLARD has taken over Strexcorp security operations in Night Vale. Along with the StrexChorus, she recaps Tamika's rebellious exploits -- and vents all her personal frustration -- in a version of **Cats -[Macavity: The Mystery Cat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbjXHP7XifA)** _(h/t ivoryandwines)_.

> LAUREN  
> Tamika Flynn, Tamika Flynn, there's no one like Tamika Flynn  
> She's broken every corporate rule  
> She's reading all the books we ban  
> We'll catch her any day now, or so we claim on-air  
> But when we reach the scene of crime  
> Tamika Flynn's not there!

{#===|===|===|}

 

In the timeline of the show, we've reached e040 The Deft Bowman: the episode when MEGAN WALLABY gets a body transplant. With her new voice, the first thing she does is sing a version of **Les Miserables -[I Dreamed A Dream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aeo86iOS0QU)** , remembering all the hopes she had for her friendship with COMPUTER, and how sad she was when they were lost.

(It's gonna be okay, I promise. By the end of the fic she makes friends with Fey and everything is wonderful.)

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Let's get an update on CARLOS' TEAM OF SCIENTISTS.

The scientists are such a puzzle in canon. At first, I -- like a lot of the fandom -- assumed Carlos and some colleagues had all come to Night Vale together, and were working, maybe living, definitely having team bonding-and-shenanigans, as a group. But a [close reading of canon](http://nightvalecommunityfanon.tumblr.com/post/113995800842/so-ive-noticed-carlos-team-of-scientists-have) finds no mention of where the others came from..and, since the pilot episode, Carlos is the only one who's studied anything that isn't the House that Doesn't Exist.

We got a few details (Carlos has five colleagues, including a Dave and a Rochelle) in e046, so it seemed like we were finally going to get more exposition...then in e047, they were captured by Strexcorp, and have been MIA ever since. Later, Carlos says tells Cecil there's only one person he truly cares about. Does that mean the other scientists are dead? Or does it mean Carlos never had any real bond with them in the first place?

Who even knows. I'm not sure the writers expect listeners to care, to be honest.

Well, for this AU, they're all Outsiders. They have team shenanigans. DAVE is a neurologist, ROCHELLE is a biologist, and one of the unnamed slots is filled by an OC geneticist named LI HUA.

I wrote her in this fic from the early chapters, for one reason and one reason only: to give her this song.

(Things will get bloody, so skip to the end of the section if you need to.)

As you may recall, Li Hua is a high-functioning sociopath. The real thing, not a person who's just emotionally closed-off. Which is frequently an advantage in Night Vale:

> Her ability to be casually ruthless had saved each of her teammates' lives at least once. She never needed time off to recover from the loss of a loved one; she wouldn't hesitate to shoot something that was trying to kill her, no matter how superficially adorable; she could skip into the goriest disaster zone to collect samples for testing. And even if she didn't care about people personally, she understood the value of having allies, so her teammates had learned to trust that she wouldn't seriously hurt any of them just for the hell of it.

At this point, though, Carlos is understandably concerned that she's going to run off to join Strexcorp, where she'll have free rein to murder and dissect people without any penalties to her social standing.

To which Li Hua replies, "Do you think I'm stupid? They would never be convinced I wasn't a spy, and everybody there would be happy to murder and dissect _me_ the second I stopped being useful enough. No, I'm going to throw my lot in with the Book Club. Same amount of fun, lower chance of being stabbed in my sleep."

Aaaaand then she loads up on a bunch of high-powered weapons and strolls to the nearest Strexcorp hangar, where she enjoys a blood-soaked massacre of every staffer she meets. Stepping over bodies, painting the walls red.

All to the tune of **Frozen -[Let It Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk)** :

> LI HUA  
> The light blinks bright on the mountain tonight  
> And the streets down here are clean  
> A town under occupation  
> Not a rebel to be seen...
> 
> Don't let them in, don't let them see  
> Look as if you're emoting normally  
> Pretend to feel, don't let them know  
> Well, now they know...!
> 
> I don't care what they're going to say!  
> Let the War rage on  
> The blood never bothered me anyway!
> 
> It's funny how a war zone  
> Means everything can change  
> And the social mores that ruled me  
> Can't get to me at all!
> 
> It's time to see what I can do  
> To test the limits and break through  
> No right, no wrong, no rules for me  
> I'm free...!
> 
> My bullets flurry, dropping bodies to the ground  
> My soul is spattering in bloodstained fractals all around  
> And one thought echoes, deafens, like a gunshot blast  
> I'm never going back  
> The past is in the past!

During the bridge of the song, she's entering the main hangar. She hacks off a guard's arm and uses the end to paint the Night Vale eye sigil on the door of a yellow helicopter. Gotta make sure Tamika knows this one's a friendly, and doesn't shoot it down.

On "I'll rise like the break of dawn" Li Hua is lifting off, and on the final "let the War rage on...!" she hits the button for the windshield wipers, casually clearing the mess she made of the windows. "The blood never bothered me anyway!"

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

The approach of e041 WALK means it's high time for some numbers from DANA CARDINAL, out in the Otherworld Desert.

Dana's actress can seriously sing, by the way. Check out the bit she does on [the musical episode of _Fringe_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtKYTbY9IRA) (singing a few lines from "[I Hope I Get It](http://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/choruslinea/ihopeigetit.htm)").

When she climbs the mountain and finds the ruins on top, Dana launches into a version of **Little Fish -[Remember Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm7fFnyc9Ww)**. It's one of those songs that would pretty much work with no modification at all. ("There I was on the highest mountain in all the universe / Standing right where an ancient people had disappeared or worse / Around me were the remnants of the lives they'd left behind / And all at once this feeling, no this knowledge filled my mind...")

Projecting herself into the NVCR studio, Dana picks up new details on Night Vale's troubles from CECIL. Maybe everyone in town is singing a song about walking here, I don't know.

Anyway, Dana reflects on how far she's come, literally and figuratively, to the tune of **A Shoggoth On The Roof -[Very Far From The Home I Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e35lCjVM0n4&index=4&list=PLaLBhQrTjJS__MW1z-4MvJoQuhKch9kFo)**. ("Once, I was happily content to stay / Here in town, on dry ground / Far from the monsters who would come to prey / Prey on the home I love...")

She's already started making friends with the MASKED WARRIORS...but they're not the only ones in the desert! It's about time to rendezvous with the ANGELS, including THE ERIKA FORMERLY KNOWN AS VITHYA.

They re-enter the story with a version of **The Adventures of Tom Sawyer -[Angels Lost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AqaGtsFgpY)**. ("There's a couple angels missing, that only you can save... / There's a couple angels lost down here, whose only hope is you.")

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Good news: even with the rockiness of those early scenes, by now CECIL and CARLOS are doing pretty well in the relationship department.

...Hey, remember when Carlos used to have trouble juggling his work and his relationship, but was shown to be making an effort, and getting better at it? When his research was presented as something that could co-exist with his love life in a healthy way, not something that had to be _completely_ _destroyed_ before he would stop some really egregious mistreatment of his partner?

I wrote most of a song, and most of a the corresponding scene, with that Carlos in mind.

Cecil comes by the house for a quiet evening of boyfriending, finds Carlos deep in research, and is a little insecure. Cue the opening chords of **Pippin -[War Is A Science](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH_2nZCKUUA).**

> "I understand that your experiments and everything are important! And that you're very into your work. I'm very into it too! It's just...well, it would be nice if...."
> 
> Cecil trailed off, because a jaunty beat had started playing around them: like circus music, with xylophones and tambourines, drums and cymbals. Carlos thought he even heard the rhythm of invisible backup dancers clapping along.
> 
> "Is this yours or mine?" asked Cecil.
> 
> "I think it's mine," said Carlos. He was starting to recognize the tingling feeling that signaled incoming choreography.
> 
> "Mmhmm. And do you think it's going to be about...science? Or about...something else?"
> 
> "Cecil...." Carlos pulled Cecil toward the couch. "Probably science. But just because I'm focusing on science doesn't mean I can't also be focusing on you! Come in here, let me show you...."
> 
> His laptop was still on the coffee table, snoring lightly. The two of them sat on the cushions in front of it, where Carlos clasped Cecil's hands as the music changed tone.
> 
> "Love is a science! With rules to be applied," sang Carlos. "Which good boyfriends appreciate, and analyze and correlate, to optimize, on every date, what they provide...!"
> 
> Another burst of trombones and bells clamored to life around them as he tapped the keyboard, waking the laptop up. "See, Cecil, here's what I've been doing while I waited for you," he said, then broke into a chant as he pointed and gestured to different windows: "The molecules in fragrances, they always correspond to a chemical composed of atoms linked by certain bonds. So I took your favorite flowers, and went online, where I'm looking up the formulas that make them smell so fine. I'll synthesize them, down in the lab — and bypass the way the blooms themselves all bite and screech and stab!"
> 
> He turned back to Cecil, who was nodding in time with the catchy beat, and ran a gentle caress along Cecil's cheek.
> 
> "Oh, and, earlier this afternoon, I saw the Ralph's had fire on sale. I'll find some scented candles soon, and test them in the same detail...!"
> 
> Cecil beamed. Carlos took a moment to smile in return, then started clicking through folders. He knew there was a set of MRI cross-sections somewhere on this hard drive...ah-hah!
> 
> "Love is a science," he intoned. "That fact is very plain. Arousal can be quantified — you see it on these colored slides that tracked the signals after someone wired their brain!"
> 
> Cecil looked with a start from the images to Carlos's skull, like he thought it might give some hint about how many of those regions were active in Carlos's brain right now.
> 
> With a gentle gesture Carlos tipped Cecil's head down so they were face-to-face again. "Now listen to me closely, I'll endeavor to outline the subfields that I want to make specialties of mine...."

(...and that's all I wrote. You'll have to fill in your own branches of Cecilology.)

(I _liked_ the "Carlos expresses his interest in Cecil in science ways" concept, dammit. Why couldn't it ever come up in canon? Even his Big Romantic Speech in Condos is only about general science -- it could have been addressed to any person he ever dated. There's nothing specific about Cecil's character traits, or interests, or what Carlos loves and admires about him, or _anything_.)

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

It isn't all warm fuzzy feelings at this stage of the story. We get regular Strexcorp anthems -- sometimes just from the town's Strexcorp imports, sometimes including the Night Vale locals who've been bought up.

I have a _really long_ potential Strex playlist. Songs that are relentlessly cheerful, and could easily turn evil when sung through Strexcorp teeth, are surprisingly plentiful

...As are songs that were intended to be cheerful-evil in the first place.

  * **Spring Awakening -[Don't Do Sadness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRMw1Axvwxg)** _(h/t thundercaya)_ : "I don't do sadness / Not even a little bit / Just don't need it in my life / Don't want any part of it"
  * **Annie -[You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmmsyg21Du4)** : "It's what you wear from ear to ear / And not from head to toe / That matters... / Though you may wear your best / You're never fully dressed / Without a smile!"
  * **Monty Python's Life of Brian -[Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ): ** "If life seems jolly rotten / There's something you've forgotten / And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing... / Forget about your sin / Give the audience a grin / Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow / So, always look on the bright side of death / Just before you draw your terminal breath."
  * **Assassins -[Everybody's Got The Right](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6djdNnICNTs) **_(h/t hungarianlanterns)_ : "Everybody's got the right to be happy! / Don't be mad, life's not as bad as it seems... / Everybody's got the right to some sunshine / Not the sun, but maybe one of its beams"
  * **Chess -[The Merchandisers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv0LbW-CSNE)** _(h/t chess_ka)_ : "We've locked the doors / We've blocked the aisles / We've a franchise worth exploiting / And we will, yes we will! / When it comes to merchandising / We could kill!"
  * **Catch Me If You Can -[Don't Break The Rules](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN9kpJ2KRFg)** : "They see themselves as Robin Hood stealing from the rich / Not paying back the things they take, well, payback is a bitch"
  * **The Lion King -[Chow Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0aXIjWnfqY) **_(h/t gwen-chan)_ : "It's so incredible / That you're so rude / When you're so edible / When you are food!"



{#===|===|===|}

 

We come to e042 Numbers. This is the first episode where THE MAN IN THE TAN JACKET comes into the studio when CECIL is doing a broadcast.

It's already been revealed that, for purposes of this AU, TJ is Cecil's missing brother. He recaps this for Cecil, then goes on to explain (both to Cecil and the listeners) why he's so unmemorable, and some things he wants the audience to try that might help reverse the process.

...and here's where I confess that I never actually _decided_ why TJ is unmemorable in this universe. (His backstory from a certain other AU obviously doesn't apply.)

But it would have to have be the side effect of some kind of life-sustaining magic, so the brothers can do a bittersweet duet to **Adventure Time -[Remember You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBm6nemYcNA)** _(h/t CompletelyDifferent)_ :

> TJ  
> This magic keeps me alive, but it makes you forget me  
> And I need to save you, but who's going to save me?
> 
> CECIL  
> Please forgive me for whatever I do  
> When I don't remember you

Tears. Tears everywhere.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

...Within a few minutes CECIL has forgotten the whole thing, and goes back to reporting on the mysterious changes in WZZZ.

He tunes in just in time to hear the newly-named FEY breaking into a version of **Hedwig and the Angry Inch -[Random Number Generation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzGHjsMGdy0)**. ("All our feelings and thoughts / Expressed in ones and in oughts / In endless spiraling chains / You can't decode or explain / Cause you are so analog.")

(I promise, Fey's programming would've been broken at some point. Possibly by Megan Wallaby. Like I said, they're gonna be BFFs and all will be well.)

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Astral-projecting DANA has a meeting with a future version of DANA'S MOTHER and DANA'S OLDER BROTHER.

She'll tell Cecil about this later, but we get it in realtime, including a version of **25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee -[I Love You Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TaVVNC2dt0) **_(h/t thatguywiththewhitespot)_ :

> DANA’S BROTHER  
> God, we love the way you grew  
> Since you were born
> 
> DANA (overlapping)  
> How I wish I were  
> How I wish I were home
> 
> DANA’S MOM  
> Dana, we couldn’t be prouder
> 
> DANA (overlapping)  
> Mama, Mama, Mama  
> How I wish I were home...

And this is the last melancholy Dana scene we get, because the next song is the Dana version of **Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - [Go Go Joseph](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ys8hgUPREQ)**.

> FUTURE DANA?  
> Dana's luck was really out  
> Her spirits and her fortune low  
> Alone she sat, alone she thought  
> Of happy times she used to know
> 
> FUTURE PEOPLE  
> Hey, walker, don't be so upset!  
> Hey, Dana, you're not beaten yet
> 
> FUTURE PEOPLE CHORUS  
> Go go go Dana, you know what they say  
> Go go go Dana, you'll make it someday  
> Sha-la-la Dana, fight till you drop  
> We've heard the podcast -- you come out on top....

The parts get shuffled around -- present-day Dana isn't singing all the Joseph lines. Instead, Dana lays out her worries about not getting home, and FUTURE DANA reassures her.

Cut back to the present in the desert otherworld. Dana worries about the mysterious and menacing light on the horizon. JOHN PETERS, YOU KNOW, THE FARMER -- who has joined the group by this point, and who learned about Smiling Gods in 4H -- explains what it means, and that it is beatable.

Finally, Dana, John, possibly MAUREEN, definitely THE ANGELS, and THE GIANT MASKED ARMY launch into the "big triumphant dance number" phase of the song.

> Go go go Dana, you know what they say  
> Go go go Dana, you'll make it someday!  
> Sha-la-la Dana, you're doing fine  
> You in the Dog Park, ahead of your time

{#===|===|===|}

 

Before we get to the trauma of e043 Visitor, we need to have a Khoshekh song.

I don't know if the words are all in Khoshekh's (extremely self-satisfied) head, or if Cecil and/or others at NVCR are singing it "for" him. I do know that it's to the tune of **Cats -[Skimbleshanks, The Railway Cat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjYvrHFl6ts)**.

> I, Khoshekh, the Station Cat  
> The Cat of the Radio!  
> Whispers down the corridor, there at seven forty-four  
> Right when Night Vale's ready for its show  
> Saying, "Khoshekh, how is Khoshekh?  
> Can we give his bowl a spot-check?  
> We must feed him or we just can't go!"
> 
> All the interns and the sound crew  
> Would make sure that I had beef stew  
> And my litterbox was clear  
> Then the host would say, "Oh, Khoshekh!  
> Got to run off to a tape check  
> But then I'll come right back here."
> 
> So at seven fifty-two with the broadcast almost due  
> He'd be back and scratching right behind my ears  
> Till I purr that I approve, and that he's okay to move  
> Otherwise he might stay there for years...!
> 
> Then I'll hear the chords of the intro tune  
> And the signal goes "On Air!"  
> He'll be off at last to report the news, and on all the town affairs!
> 
> I, Khoshekh, the Station Cat  
> The Cat of the Radio!  
> You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge  
> Of the Night Vale broadcast day  
> From the marketing and sales to the little script details  
> I would supervise them all, in my way
> 
> In the bathroom I'll be floating, and it might look like I'm dozing  
> But be vigilant and don't let down your guard!  
> I'll establish my control, with a hiss, and maybe claws  
> And the poison spikes if you push me too hard
> 
> I can watch you without winking and I see what you are thinking  
> There are certain things I do not condone  
> Don't go messing with my kittens, learn the station rules unwritten  
> And this spot is mine, don't try to make me go
> 
> You can play no pranks with Khoshekh, thanks!  
> I'm a cat that cannot be ignored  
> So nothing goes wrong welcoming Night Vale  
> With Khoshekh standing guard!
> 
> It gets very pleasant when they hear traffic on the tens  
> And an ad for a nice local store  
> The election news is fair, time split one-to-one on air  
> Although Hiram thinks he should get that plus four
> 
> You can get an early peek  
> At the calendar each week!  
> All the details of the local hot events  
> And a funny science section he began from sheer affection  
> Though he never really got it to make sense
> 
> And some nights he'll get reflective, or he might not be objective  
> Or he'll let the weather run...a little long  
> But he'll never get too far gone, and that's something you can count on  
> For Khoshekh won't let anything go wrong
> 
> When the weather ends and the host signs off  
> And kills the "On Air" sign  
> He can leave secure; it will be all right  
> The station won't be bothered at night  
> He can leave all that to the Station Cat  
> The Cat of the Radio
> 
> I, Khoshekh, the Station Cat  
> The Cat of the Radio!...
> 
> And I'll give a wave of my long spined tail  
> Which says "See you soon, you know!  
> You'll meet without fail if you're in Night Vale  
> The Cat of the Radio!"

{#===|===|===|}

 

The events of Visitor happen. A STREXPET(TM) is found in CECIL's office, and ends up attacking; he flees to the bathroom; KHOSHEKH defends him, and is badly injured.

LAUREN reveals that the StrexPet was a "gift" from the corporation, and sings Cecil a darkly threatening version of **Aladdin -[Friend Like Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99Op1TaXmCw) **_(h/t Gen)_. "You ain't never had a boss like me."

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

For purposes of this AU, CARLOS and the SCIENTISTS were never the most active rebels, but in Act I they did things like provide hideouts and first-aid supplies for the Book Club.

They had their big moment of showy defiance in [Rent](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1650662/chapters/6206282), and it was a disaster. Since then, they've been a lot more withdrawn, keeping to their own research and avoiding things that could be used against Strexcorp. (With the exception of Li Hua, who's still out on the front lines, having the bloody time of her life.)

While they're studying the House that Doesn't Exist, Carlos berates himself for being too scared to rebel more actively...too scared to do any more-controversial research...even too scared to go up to this house.

All those layers of feeling come together to the tune of **Matilda -[Pathetic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oNt9A-AdvY) **_(h/t chess_ka)_. ("Knock on the door, Carlos / There's nothing to fear / You're being pathetic! / It's just a door / You've seen one before.")

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Before we get to e044 Cookies, we would have had a few characterization-building family-background songs for CECIL, STEVE, and JANICE. Along with a little more page time for CECIL'S SISTER (this AU began before her name was revealed in canon, and I haven't bothered to retcon, so she's still called Delphine here). Maybe some CARLOS thrown in.

Here's what's on my list:

 **Monty Python and the Holy Grail -[Brave Sir Robin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYFefppqEtE)** _(h/t thatguywiththewhitespot)_ : Cecil sings this in mockery/aggravation at Steve. "Couldn't bake a decent scone, no, not Steve Carlsberg!"

 **Commentary, The Musical -[Steve's Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clKc2Pdvda8&index=14&list=PLu_weK_nYIXlAbHruPjURDGxyLPPvt0FO)** : A sweet and hopeful anthem for Steve, about how he's totally going to be accepted by the town-at-large any day now. ("My friends would never consciously / Exploit somebody`s weakness / They say my voice possesses a sweetness... / I knew it's not this lisp / It`s been my talents all along.")

 **Seussical -[Alone In The Universe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ4LpoXI-_I) **_(h/t Regalli)_ : Suggested as a Steve-and-Carlos song! Back when it seemed like they could be friends, bonding over their discomfort with certain kinds of everyday Night Vale weirdness. ("They all call me a lunatic / Okay, call me a lunatic / If I stand on my own, so be it... / And one day soon / I know there you'll be / One small voice in the universe / One true friend in the universe / Who believes in me....")

...and then we learned that canon!Steve had been working from the idea Carlos was _part_ of the conspiracies he fights against, and canon!Carlos hadn't bonded with _anyone._ Sigh.

 **Rocky Horror Picture Show -[Damn It, Janet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbpJb7hjb7M)** : Look, at _some_ point there would have been a sequence that called for a song with the refrain "Damn it, Janice!" And as soon as I thought of it, I would have been _ready_.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

The Mayoral Election campaign is still going on in the background of all this!

...but I only have one song on the prospective playlist for HIRAM MCDANIELS and THE FACELESS OLD WOMAN. That would be **Annie Get Your Gun -[Anything You Can Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqfMyKCqiHU) **_(h/t Gen)_. ("Anything you can do, I can do better / I can do anything better than you / No, you can't / Yes, I can / No, you can't / Yes, I can!")

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

The events of e044 Cookies happen. CECIL tries to re-sell his niece's Girl Scout cookies; Strexcorp buys them all.

LAUREN gets threatening again, this time to the tune of **RENT -[What You Own](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nDjkO67TeU)**.

> LAUREN  
> Don't breathe too deep  
> Don't think all day  
> Dive into work  
> Smile till you're okay...  
> You're working at a Strexcorp job  
> Leave your sadness at the tone  
> When you're working at a Strexcorp job  
> At the turn of the millennium  
> You're what we own!

It backfires. By the end of the song, Cecil has resolved to get _more_ engaged, not less. He makes a surreptitious call to TAMIKA, and the planning of Parade Day is set in motion....

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

...which seems like a nice cliffhanger-y point at which to break this not!fic in two.

NEXT TIME: Open war!...Mass imprisonment. Revolutionary anthems for Tamika. Happy sunshiney songs for Kevin. Danger for everyone! Dana makes her triumphant return to town. Carlos contemplates _leaving_ town. TJ contemplates how much he wants to be able to wear literally any color other than tan.

Readers, if you have any questions, ask them now. Especially if there's some minor character or low-key plot thread you're curious about, because I might not remember to cover them in the summarizing otherwise...and I really do want to pack as much closure as possible into the final not!chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One new recording since the last part aired: [Be Prepared](http://sammykh.tumblr.com/post/122018825133/first-off-im-sorry-for-the-quality-i-played-the), sung by SammyKH.
> 
> This is it, folks. The second half of the second half of the musical AU is finally here. Before the final curtain lowers, there will be rescues, story-arc closures, more of the author being deeply unhappy about canon, romantic solos, romantic duets, and show-stopping finales.

We return to our musical-themed rebellion, already in progress!

A lot of things about the open anti-Strex revolt go differently from in canon. Also, they happen faster, because I can't drag it out over a whole month. I will admit that I never nailed down 100% of the choreography (see what I did there), but here's an outline that hits all the important plot points.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Shortly before the conflict explodes, CECIL explains as much as he knows about what he's getting himself into. It pushes CARLOS to voice his ongoing discomfort with Night Vale's dangers. Cecil says he has an obligation to stay and fight for Night Vale, but he understands that Carlos doesn't have the same duty, and would be happy if Carlos got somewhere safe.

Carlos thinks longingly about both of them moving, to a more-normal, less-fatal town. It turns into a whole fantasy sequence, to the tune of **Blood Brothers -[Bright New Day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuIhaAmDyZ0)**. ("We're getting out / We're movin' house / We're starting all over again / We're leaving this mess / For our new address / Sixty-five Normalsville Lane!")

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

TAMIKA and the BOOK CLUB are rocking this thing. Prospective playlist of fight songs:

  * **Ragtime -[Make Them Hear You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ascNnvhfuFQ)** ( _h/t Poetry):_ "And I could not put down my sword / When justice was my right / Make them hear you / Make them hear you!"
  * **Matilda -[Revolting Children](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6PXm34OBP8)** ( _h/t chess_ka, EurovisionAU)_ : "We are revolting children / Living in revolting times / Take out your hockey stick, and use it as a sword / Never again will we be ignored!"
  * **Newsies -[Seize The Day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMi8pjRg6YY)** _(h/t Cristina):_ "Friends of the friendless seize the day / Raise up the torch and light the way / Proud and defiant / We'll slay the giant / Let us seize the day!"
  * **Elisabeth -[Wenn Ich Tanzen Vill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5vGk85FvZM)** [[English translation](http://lyricstranslate.com/en/wenn-ich-tanzen-will-if-i-wanna-dance.html)]: "If I want to dance / I will dance the way I want / Only I can choose the hour / I alone will choose the tune!"



 

{#===|===|===|}

 

All of this making and revolting and seizing and dancing is giving LAUREN _fits_.

CECIL barricades himself in his studio to provide unfiltered coverage of the first wave of rebellion. He urges people from all across town to come together, using a version of **High School Musical -[Work This Out](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV50hD2thAc) ** (h/t thundercaya).

Eventually Lauren busts in, cuts him off, and starts doing her own reporting. First, scaremongering about the dangers of those revolting children. Then, chirpy happiness as Strex's forces turn the tide. All to the tune of **Wicked -[Thank Goodness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xSRCSXlaxM)**.

Strexcorp HQ sends KEVIN to be the new Voice, and he shows up just as the broadcast ends. He is just _jazzed_ to be back here, you guys. (Although he does not get any jazz tunes.) Ooh, and now he's the _permanent_ Voice, instead of just a two-week substitute? Awesome! That means he can redecorate, right?

Lauren and DANIEL anticipate Kevin's plans with a version of **The Lion King -[Can You Feel The Love Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QyCxVkXwQ)**.

A _major_ hat tip to chess_ka, who wrote this entire intro for Can You Feel The Blood Tonight, which I never managed to follow up:

 

> LAUREN  
>  I can see what's happening
> 
> DANIEL  
>  What?
> 
> LAUREN  
>  The Shauns don't have a clue
> 
> DANIEL  
>  Who?
> 
> LAUREN  
>  They'll come in here, and here's the bottom line:  
>  They'll all be torn in two

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Imprisoned in a solitary cell, CECIL thinks wistfully about his more innocent intern days, when he never imagined his job would lead to anything like this. It turns into a whole fantasy sequence, to the tune of **The Lion King -[Just Can't Wait To Be King](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywjX6AF6oVc)**. ("Just can't wait to be Voice!")

KEVIN, at Cecil's desk preparing to do his first show, has a similar fantasy sequence. _His_ Strex-tinted memories of his intern days get the melody of **Little Shop of Horrors -[Dentist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM)** _(h/t theguywiththewhitespot)_.

More songs from the playlist of Cheerful/Disturbing Songs For Kevin:

  * **My Little Pony -[Smile Smile Smile](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQKaAlMNvm8)** ("I love to make you smile, smile, smile / Yes I do! / It fills my heart with sunshine all the while / Yes it does!")
  * **Sweeney Todd -[My Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmUBwQybFKo)** ("These are my friends / See how they glisten / See this one shine / How he smiles in the light")
  * **The Who's Tommy -[Cousin Kevin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omYH2MFEERw)** ("Maybe a cigarette burn on your arm / Would change your expression to one of alarm / I'll drag you around by a lock of your hair / Or give you a push at the top of the stairs...")
  * **Pippin -[Finale](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ9GEChMOec)** ("Think about the sun, Pippin / Think about her golden glance / How she lights the world up / Well, now it's your chance!")



 

{#===|===|===|}

 

CARLOS, meanwhile, successfully hides from Strexcorp forces inside the House that Doesn't Exist -- bringing his remaining SCIENTISTS with him. Because in this AU they're a team, and they care about each other, and they stick together.

They can't get back out the same way, but they remember that DANA went through here and got to the otherworld desert, so they go searching for her travel route. Carlos, in particular, is worried about CECIL, and wants to get to the desert where he'll have phone reception and infinite battery life. Because in this AU, he paid attention when Cecil and Dana were talking about this phenomenon on-air.

(They talked about it a _lot_. And in canon he didn't pick up on it, not even once? Come on.)

It's a melancholy search. At some point the scientists start singing a version of **RENT -[Halloween](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3HLzzA_BUk)** _(h/t SimulatedStars)._ ("How the hell did we get here, how the hell...?")

But they make it!

They find Dana and company pretty quickly, because, you know, they're actively looking. Also, because the GIANT MASKED ARMY is _tall_.

Dana promises to give them shelter, and to let them back into Night Vale when they open the doors. She won't even pressure them to help her with the fight. You see, not only does she have one army, there's another one about to arrive...

This is when the ANGELS descend, escorting OLD WOMAN JOSIE, to the tune of **CATS -[Old Deuteronomy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qagCcoXZi_4)**[.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qagCcoXZi_4)

 

> ERIKA  
>  Old Woman Josie has lived a long time  
>  She's a woman who's lived many lives in succession...
> 
> JOSIE  
>  My legs may be tottery, I must go slow  
>  And be careful of Old Woman Josie!

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

At this point, I need to stop and explain some things about how Strexcorp in this story views the SMILING GOD.

(If this was a proper fic, all of it would've been revealed in pieces throughout Act II -- a hint here, a reference there, letting you build up the picture. As-is, just imagine that I've been very clever and you're fascinated and intrigued, okay? Good.)

Two major things. First: the Smiling God isn't some distant, ineffable, mysterious force. It speaks to certain people, in normal human language, handing down direct orders for Strexcorp to follow.

Second: the upper echelons of Strex management aren't Ferocious Business Sharks. There's more emphasis on the religious aspect. If anything, the highest-tier officers seem _disinterested_ in the operations of the company -- they would rather spend their time on prayer and sermonizing and the search for divine ecstasy.

That last part is pretty frustrating for LAUREN. She's practical (and sadistic); she enjoys the nitty-gritty of business organization (and the fun of making your opponents bleed).

And even though Strexcorp appears to have Night Vale totally under control, Lauren doesn't think they've won yet. In fact, she suspects they've screwed up in their "replacing Cecil" strategy. The idea of an Outsider as perma-replacement is agitating a big subset of residents who would have been happy, complicit collaborators if the new Voice on their radio was a local. (A Strex-aligned, controllable local.)

Headquarters is content with Lauren's work...but that also means they're not sending her any more rebellion-crushing support. She urges them to look up from their prayers and take this seriously, in a version of **Jesus Christ Superstar -[Heaven On Their Minds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_hlGtZalhs)**.

 

> LAUREN  
>  They are occupied!  
>  Have you forgotten how put-down they are...?
> 
> Desert Bluffs' most famous son  
>  Should have stayed a great unknown...  
>  Local weather, news and sports  
>  Would have suited Kevin more  
>  He'd have caused nobody harm  
>  No one alarm!

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Night Vale is still a functioning town; Strex has a more subtle and multi-pronged strategy than "build a single prison camp and put everyone in there." They've got some version of the Company Picnic for mid-level dissidents, and then the worst threats are locked up separately.

JANICE is at the Picnic, along with STEVE and DELPHINE (picked the name early in the fic for Cecil's sister, not gonna retcon it now). Cecil isn't.

They aren't in there for long, though! A couple of days at the most. Then Lauren's fears start coming true: DANA crashes the picnic, masked warriors in tow, to the triumphant chords of **Steven Universe -[Giant Woman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zpawLqRJWY)** :

 

> DANA  
>  All I wanna do  
>  Is introduce you to  
>  My GIANT ARMY!  
>  All I wanna be  
>  Is someone who gets to lead  
>  A giant army!
> 
> JANICE  
>  And now we've been set free!  
>  So glad we got to see --  
>  your giant army!  
>  I'm so relieved that you  
>  have introduced me to  
>  your giant army!  
>  Oh, it's gonna be  
>  so great, when you save  
>  the day, using this army  
>  you brought together --  
>  I know Strexcorp will flee,  
>  just as soon as they see, that  
>  we have got a giant army!
> 
> DANA  
>  We're enjoying our fight together  
>  though we know it won't be forever!  
>  Just glad I got to meet,  
>  and in the end to lead,  
>  my giant army!  
>  (My giant army!)  
>  All I wanna do is introduce you to my giant army!

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

TAMIKA and the BOOK CLUB (including Janice's stepsister RENEE) are being held at the Strexcorp military base that they tried to attack, only to be captured and imprisoned when it failed.

This is the point in the storyline where they break out of their cells. Oh, and rescue CECIL, who turns out to be locked up in the next cell over.

They take control of the base from the inside, and Cecil uses the Strex equipment to temporarily jam the NVCR broadcast. He explains the new situation to Lauren and company, to the tune of **Jersey Boys -[My Boyfriend's Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDZK6LCPMGs)**.

 

> CECIL (BOOK CLUB)  
>  Tamika's back, and now we're gonna save the station  
>  (Hey la, hey la, Tamika's back)  
>  If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation  
>  (Hey la, hey la, Tamika's back!)

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

So we end up with a whole bunch of our heroes safely reunited at...

...some kind of base where they can bunk down for the night and feel well-defended. Probably not the captured Strex base; that place might be booby-trapped, or have back doors in the programming that the bad guys can use to turn it against them.

Maybe it's the Girl Scout base in the canyons? Maybe it's one of Marcus Vansten's many expensive mansions. Maybe they've set up a whole camp in the desert otherworld. (There's an old oak door on the premises, so people/angels/warriors can go back and forth as necessary.)

CECIL is there, and STEVE and DELPHINE and JANICE and RENEE, and OLD WOMAN JOSIE with the ANGELS, and DANA, and TAMIKA with the BOOK CLUB, and more.

Conspicuously missing: Carlos. Dana explains that she opened a door to let him back into Night Vale, in the area of the lab, and hasn't heard from him since.

(At some point I would've tried to cover Carlos's departure with a parody of **Scrubs -[Gonna Miss You Carla](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erPwfDILyzs)**.)

A melancholy Cecil assumes that Carlos is going to follow through on that leaving-Night-Vale plan. That Carlos is stopping only to pick up some important science things before hightailing it out of town.

He reflects sadly on the whole situation in a version of **If/Then -[What Would You Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kACInkDrnQI)**. ("If you knew that your laughter would not last forever / But you knew while it did you would breathe it like air / Would you let him make you love him / Would you dare?")

The MAN IN THE TAN JACKET, who in this AU is Cecil's missing brother, finds Cecil and encourages him to remember happier times. Pre-heartbreak times. Also, incidentally, times when he knew who his brother was! That would be nice.

This part is to the tune of **The Fantasticks -[Try To Remember](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3iEoZdImpY)**. ("Try to remember when life was so tender / That no one wept except the willow / Try to remember when life was so tender / That dreams were kept beside your pillow.")

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Smash-cut to: KEVIN, after the show, feeling uncharacteristically worried and confused.

After all, this town takeover was supposed to make things better! His job as the new Voice was to spread the word of the Smiling God, and make everybody happier! So why all this resistance? Why is everybody fighting?

Maybe the problem is that Kevin isn't working hard enough. That must be it! If only Kevin will summon all of his faith, go find these rebels, and preach to them in person, he can bring them around.

Naturally, he sings through this whole thought process to the tune of **The Book of Mormon -[I Believe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVJgmp2Tc2s)**.

In the middle of it he gets up, takes to the streets, and strides purposefully around Night Vale until he finds an old oak door. Once he's in the desert, some ANGELS intercept him and start following him, taking on the role of the backup chorus along the way.

It isn't long before Kevin reaches the rebel base....

 

> KEVIN  
>  I know that I must do the things my Smiling God commands  
>  I realize now why he sent me here!  
>  If you ask the Lord in faith, he will always answer you  
>  Just believe in him and have no fear
> 
> GIRL SCOUT GUARD  
>  Tamika! We have an intruder. He just walked right into camp!
> 
> KEVIN  
>  I believe...these angels are a threat to you  
>  I believe...the Smiling God has sent me here!  
>  And I believe...that it's best for the grown of business if we cut down all the taxes on rich people!
> 
> ANGEL CHORUS  
>  Rich people!
> 
> KEVIN  
>  You can work for Strexcorp!  
>  And by gosh --  
>  At Strex we just  
>  Believe!

This is the point when someone hits him with a knockout dart.

Fortunately, people have figured out that he's under some kind of Strexcorp influence and not in control of his own actions. And in this AU, they've already made the wild and crazy decision to try to _help_ the guy, not toss him through a door and leave him for dead.

(Certainly not "toss him through a door into an environment that, to the best of your knowledge, will _kill_ him, because he used some insensitive language when answering a question about his company's health insurance policy." Different people want different kinds of treatment from their medical insurance! Sure, it's wrong to presume that one treatment is the best for everybody with a given disability, but you know what's even more wrong? _Attempted murder._ )

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Okay, enough of that. Time for a rousing ensemble montage song.

Our heroes are about to bunk down for the night, so they're getting the last few things ready for an attack in the morning. Cue the opening chords of **Les Miserables -[One Day More](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42IQ29b8YIU)**.

Part of the montage is the MAN IN THE TAN JACKET, watching longingly as his brother, sister, brother-in-law, and nieces all set up their sleeping bags together.

 

> TJ  
>  One more day I go unknown  
>  One more day they can't remember  
>  What a curse, to be alone  
>  With my family right there...!

The aggressive and encouraging parts of the song are taken up by DANA and TAMIKA, with the BOOK CLUB/ANGELS/MASKED ARMY/etcetera backing them up.

 

> TAMIKA  
>  One more day before the storm  
>  When we battle for our freedom  
>  When the narrative is formed  
>  Will you write that scene with me?
> 
> REBEL CHORUS  
>  The time is now, the day is here
> 
> DANA  
>  One day more!

In her office, LAUREN reviews the company's security intel, and fumes about Tamika and the Book Club.

 

> LAUREN  
>  One more day to revolution  
>  We will nip it in the bud  
>  We will crush these little schoolgirls  
>  We will paint this town with blood!

There's a callback to that Les Mis takeoff from Act I, [Do You Hear The Girl Scouts Sing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1650662/chapters/3895807).

 

> REBEL CHORUS  
>  There's a war here for the winning  
>  There's a hometown to be won  
>  Do you hear the Girl Scouts sing?

This is the point when a truck rolls into camp.

SCIENTISTS behind the wheel. CARLOS riding on top.

Its cargo: a heaping pile of extremely-scientific weapons and explosives.

 

> CARLOS  
>  My place is here  
>  My fight, with you!
> 
> CECIL [running into his arms]  
>  One day more!

Multi-part chorus with all the verses from different parties weaving in and out of each other, until Dana brings it back together:

 

> DANA  
>  Tomorrow we'll be going home  
>  Tomorrow we'll defend our own
> 
> REBEL CHORUS  
>  Tomorrow we'll discover what our God Unsmiling has in store!  
>  One more dawn  
>  One more day  
>  One day more!

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Bring the lights down; soften the background melody. CECIL and CARLOS are getting some quiet time together.

Cecil says that, if they both survive this, he definitely wants to move in with Carlos as soon as possible. He elaborates with the lyrics of **Pippin -[With You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DD-3NP1wwo)** :

 

> CECIL  
>  My days are brighter than morning air  
>  Evergreen pine and autumn blue  
>  But all my days are twice as fair  
>  If I could share  
>  My days with you
> 
> My nights are warmer than firecoals  
>  Incense and stars and smoke bamboo  
>  But nights were warm beyond compare  
>  If I could share  
>  My nights with you
> 
> To dance in my dreams  
>  To shine when I need the sun  
>  With you  
>  To hold me when dreams are done
> 
> And oh....  
>  My dearest love  
>  If you will take my love  
>  Then all my dreams are truly begun
> 
> And time weaves ribbons of memory  
>  To sweeten life when youth is through  
>  But I would need no memories there  
>  If I could share  
>  My life with you

"That was really beautiful," says Carlos. "You know, I think it's the first time I've heard one of these musical interludes be completely a capella...."

"Um," says Cecil. "That was not actually part of the musical front. I played Pippin in a high school production, remember? That was just me. Singing. To you."

Carlos, heart soaring, finds himself responding with the first verse of what turns out to be their Long-Awaited Big Romantic Duet: a version of **RENT -[I'll Cover You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBo9L82LXf4)**. ("Live in my house / I'll be your shelter / Just pay me back with one thousand kisses...")

It's sweet and heartfelt and all kinds of romantic.

Or at least, it should be. It does kinda lose the shine when you remember that in canon one of them -- much like Angel -- will develop a serious, life-threatening health condition, and the other one -- very _unlike_ Collins -- will _not_ be there, and will not even _try_ to cover him.

(Seriously, who wrote that. Who thought that was a good idea. When someone you love is in _mortal danger_ , and isn't defending themselves because they're so depressed they don't care about _living to the end of the broadcast_ , this is your cue to make some kind of effort to get to them! To provide them with support and comfort! If you can't be bothered to express any care for a person's feelings when they are _suicidally depressed_ , how is your "care" supposed to mean anything?)

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

So. Battle time.

Gonna have EARL HARLAN find his way back and join the party, mostly so that he can help them out by casting some magic. His goal: to make Night Vale safe for Cecil, while being self-aware that it isn't going to make Cecil fall in love with him. To the tune of **Zanna, Don't -[Blow Winds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2GOW0cXyL0)**. ("Go now / I want you to be with the one you love, if it can't be me / I can't change you / But I can change the world!")

A couple more songs for the Night Vale front of the fight:

  * **Shrek The Musical -[Freak Flag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZCtXpIVXs)** (h/t thatguywiththewhitespot): "We may be freaks, but we're freaks with teeth, and claws, and magic wands! And together, we can stand up to Strexcorp!"
  * **Dr. Horrible - Brand New Day** (h/t Yokogreyword): "It's a brand new day / And the sun is high / All the angels are singing / That you're gonna die"



 

{#===|===|===|}

 

CARLOS isn't part of this -- he's on a sidequest.

See, this is an AU where Carlos won't spend months being bizarrely, cheerfully oblivious to the fact that KEVIN is Not Okay. It's also an AU where, once he figures it out, he gets the idea that "trying to make it better using science" is a thing that maybe he should try.

(Also also, an AU where he wouldn't keep Cecil from talking to Kevin for however-many weeks that was in canon. Shockingly, "controlling and limiting who your boyfriend interacts with" is _not_ on any "Signs You Are In A Healthy Relationship" checklist.)

So Carlos visits the imprisoned Kevin -- who is still far from being okay, but who is starting to get a little of his own mind back out of Strex's control. In a callback to their Act I song "[Everything Is Perfect](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1650662/chapters/5114618)", they sing a version of **Jesus Christ Superstar -[Everything's All Right (Reprise)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g76u3f2Up9k)**.

...possibly leading right into a Kevin solo of **I Don't Know How To Love Him**. (Given that this world's Kevin is a Strex-created clone of Cecil...which means he's returning to a remarkably Cecil-ish state of mind...and also because it would be nice and heartbreaking.)

Point is, Carlos gets some kind of Science Idea for how to free the rest of Strex's mind-control victims. He feels particularly responsible for freeing CARLO, his fellow-scientist who went to do research in Desert Bluffs instead of Night Vale, and has been seriously Strexed-out all fic.

With the help of a small but skilled team of rebels, Carlos is going to cross the desert otherworld and open an old oak door in the middle of Desert Bluffs, where they will Do Science and both towns will be saved.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Here's a cute little exchange I never managed to use. CARLO and CARLOS are talking to KEVIN (still fully-Strexed) about what life was like back when they worked in the same town, at the very same university.

 

> "We used to get mistaken for each other all the time!" said Carlo. "Why, one time a research assistant was supposed to bring some HNO3 to Carlos's lab, because he was doing an experiment with copper...."
> 
> "...and by accident they brought it to Carlo's lab," finished Carlos. "Where _he_ was doing an experiment with _borane_. Um, this is really not the funniest example...considering the chemical interactions, I'm sure you can guess where this is going...."
> 
> "No idea." Kevin clapped his hands. "Tell me, tell me!"
> 
> "There was an explosion. We had to call the fire department and flee the building."
> 
> "Ooh," said Carlo, sobering. "Now that you mention it, there _was_ thousands of dollars' worth in property damage. You're right, that isn't funny at all."

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

One final twist that happens along the way:

In sneaking around Desert Bluffs preparing the Science, CARLOS and team end up in a temple to the Smiling God. To hide from security forces, they duck into an unmarked room.

...and find themselves face-to-face with THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

Songs for the Smiling God's playlist:

  * **The Road to El Dorado -[It's Tough To Be A God](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dotsOGOLOHY)** : "The town's already on its knees / Being worshiped is a breeze... / Let's be gods, the perks are great / We'll have Strexcorp on a plate... / They must have zillions under lock and key / But Gods can force then to unleash / Enough to make us nouveau riche / Beyond our wildest dreams, so follow me!"
  * **Wicked -[Wonderful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLdRho2FSAQ)** : "Then suddenly I'm here / Respected -- worshiped, even / Because the folks in Desert Bluffs / Needed someone to believe in..."



 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Something something fighting yadda yadda science handwave handwave good guys win!

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

A weather report reveals that the musical front is finally moving on from the Night Vale/Desert Bluffs metropolitan area.

A few final tunes.

JOSIE and the ANGELS sing, **idk, something from The Phantom Of The Opera** to celebrate breaking ground on the New Old Night Vale Opera House.

Someone finally figures out how to undo the curse on THE MAN IN THE TAN JACKET, so CECIL is able to remember his brother again!

...Well, sort of. Which is why their joyful-reunion anthem is to the tune of **Gigi - I Remember It Well**. ("We dined with friends!" / "We dined alone." / "A tenor sang?" / "A baritone." / "Ah, yes, I remember it well! That dazzling April moon" / "There was none that night, and the month was June" / "That's right, that's right!" / "It warms my heart to know that you / Remember still, the way you do.")

KEVIN and CARLO get a nice uplifting song about how they're going to be okay, how they're free from Strex's control and the trauma is going to heal. I don't know what tune it would've gotten. Feel free to swap in your favorite musical anthem of recovery and hope.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Because this fic's version of the Smiling God is hilariously fake, there isn't the same "we need to close these doors to shut out the terrible light...although a bunch of people are going to stay on the same side of the doors _as_ the light, and yet will somehow be fine" plot thread. There's just the slow process of everyone making their way to the side of the universe in which they were born.

Except CARLOS, who stays on the otherworld-desert side to talk about some of the local science...and realizes, belatedly, that the doors weren't going to stay open and wait for him.

He calls CECIL, who is more than a little freaked-out by the news. DANA tries to re-open another old oak door, but finds that, from the Night Vale side, she can't do it.

But Carlos reassures them...

 

> "You know how light interacts with the laws of physics in such radically different ways that it can be thought of as both a particle and a wave?
> 
> "Well, I interact with the laws of physics both as a Night Vale non-local and a Night Vale local. As a non-local, I didn't need to be on your side of the doors in order to allow those doors close.
> 
> "But as a local...I've been able to sing as part of the musical front. And during a song, the whole fabric of reality will change around me, if that's what it needs to do in order to fit the choreography.
> 
> "So, quickly, Cecil, before this weather pattern has completely moved on...sing with me!"

And he starts into the first verse of a song that quite a few readers suggested: **Frozen -[Love Is An Open Door](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPImqZo0D74)**.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

...again, this is one of those songs that just gets sad in the context of later canon. Cecil, like Anna, will eventually be seriously hurt and in danger of dying. Everyone else in his life, like Hans, will utterly refuse to help him.

It's not as if they don't know he needs it. Cecil's mortal peril gets broadcast live on the air -- after months of him openly complaining that he's being assaulted, and nobody attempting to help with _that_ , either. It just gets no response. Not from his family, not from his "dear friends," certainly not from his boyfriend. He doesn't even get the equivalent of an Olaf, someone who can't save him but makes an earnest and good-hearted attempt to _try_. He gets no one.

Oh, Cecil! If only there was someone in this series that loved you.

 

{#===|===|===|}

 

Back in the AU where there are people who _do_ support and care for Cecil when he needs it most:

Carlos sings.

A door, obligingly, opens.

Cecil and Carlos do a whole dance sequence, hanging on the edges of the doors, swinging around from world to world. When the last chord fades, they're both on the same side, and it's the Night Vale side.

CURTAIN.


End file.
